by Siobhan Carroll
Your eyes are like, well, eyes, but really pretty eyes.
Your hair is like so cool, like I kind of want it but I don't want to be that queer. (You know, like the girl I went on three dates with and then she had blue hair and an undercut too. Ugh.)
You smell kind of weird, but everyone I fancy has the same weird smell to me so I think that's a good thing? (Or is it? Are people you fancy supposed to smell good, because you smell a bit like play dough and I don’t know if that is, you know, good?)
Maybe we could hang out sometime and make out? No worries if not.